Bard by BlueInkAlchemist, on Flickr

Take a moment to consider your entertainment. Books, movies, video games – there are so many ways to pass the time these days. All of these lovely distractions would not be possible without writers. And right now, there are many writers out there who need your help.

There are some writers fortunate enough to already be in good homes. They have blossomed and thrived, producing wonderful and thought-provoking art for your entertainment. But many others have not yet had the opportunity. Many writers languish in situations less than ideal for creative development of their own. These writers need good homes in which they can grow. They need your help. Will you consider adopting a writer today?

Adopting a writer is a big responsibility. Writers are mercurial, passionate, inconstant creatures. Writing is a solitary act, and writers need their space to do it. They also need to be fed and watered regularly. A cranky writer can be dangerous, and while it is best to leave them be while in the throes of creation, a safe place for them to flail and rage and cry is something many writers have yet to truly experience. Writers require patience and understanding as well as food and a place to sleep – or, more often than not, a place to pass out mid-manuscript with an empty bottle nearby.

But writers are not necessarily all bad. Many writers are already housebroken! Without the concerns of a dayjob or other ‘responsible adult’ subjects to think about, a writer between words can be useful around the house. Being creative sorts, many writers know how to cook interesting food or make exotic cocktails. A writer can be encouraged to help clean up around the house, thus saving you tedious chore work after a long day at the office. They can even work complex machines like vacuum cleaners and laundry dryers!

When you adopt a writer, you are investing in your future. Events that could be dull that require your attendance will be enhanced if you bring your writer along. Skilled with stories or at least possessing interesting opinions, a writer is a surefire conversation starter. Their observations on the world around them can be refreshing in a world of jaded cynicism, be they a wide-eyed optimist or a dour, dry-witted satirist. And if your writer has the opportunity and motivation to succeed, they may even allow you to retire early, bringing in sweet novel and movie revenue allowing you to kick back, hobnob, and enjoy the fruits of your labors, knowing that you’ve not only done something out of the goodness of your heart, you’ve found a way out of a dreary day-to-day office-bound existence.

So, please. Won’t you consider adopting a writer today?