Two mornings after my first trip to the gym in months, my body is still sore. In fact, my left calf muscle (the ‘gastrocnemius ‘ I believe) has a fresh pull in it. It was enough to keep me in bed for a time. So, instead, I’m packing my gym bag and I’m going after work.
I hate going to the gym at night. It’s usually more crowded, more loud, and it can be more difficult to access the equipment I need. The gym I currently attend has just the one squat rack, and if I am going to get back to where I was in terms of my fitness routine and set new goals, I need to get a better handle on my squats. It’s possible I hit the rack a bit too hard on Wednesday, so when I go back tonight, I’ll try to go a bit easier on myself.
We all experience setbacks. Plans get changed, if not thrown into upheaval, when the unexpected happens. We don’t always get all of the information, or process everything correctly, to set things out right the first time. Mistakes are made. Oversights occur. Gaps in knowledge appear and every skillset has some demonstrable weaknesses.
This isn’t something you should punish yourself over.
Life is hard enough without self-deprecation coming into the mix. While it’s important to be salient regarding our own flaws, lest we fall into the trap of thinking ourselves blameless for our plights, berating ourselves for inevitable setbacks is not as important as planning the means to overcome those obstacles. Let’s face it – the problem is still going to be there no matter how much you flog yourself over it. It isn’t going to go away just because you’re laying into yourself to a noticeable degree.
Take the time to note where things went wrong. Understand the causes for the setback. Make yourself aware of these things going forward, if you can, as it may prevent future problems. And deal with what’s in front of you. The words you don’t write because you’re too contrite or too tired will remain unwritten until you write them. There’s no achievement to unlock for feeling sorry for yourself. Forward is the only direction that really matters.
This is another case of me reminding myself of these things at the same time I’m communicating them to others. I can’t pretend to have any authority on this, or much of anything, and I certainly don’t consider myself a success story worth emulating. Still, I do know that I’ve had my share of setbacks, some even self-inflicted. I did manage to survive them, somehow. And on top of everything, there are more in my future. I know this for a fact. Because, last time I checked, I’m a human being. I’m going to fuck up at some point or another.
It doesn’t matter what my intentions were, or how I would have done things differently. What matters, and what always matters, is what will happen next.