December 2011 – Page 3 – Blue Ink Alchemy

Month: December 2011 (page 3 of 5)

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! The Avengers

[audio:http://www.blueinkalchemy.com/uploads/avengers_98.mp3]

When Marvel Comics set out to create an uber-film bringing together Iron Man, Thor, Captain America and the Hulk (and SHOULD include the Wasp or Ms Marvel at the very least), there was something standing in their way. It was not the worried, furtive glances of fanboys or the daunting task of condensing decades of continuity into what amount to two-hour snippets. No, the problem was that another film called The Avengers already existed. Thankfully, most of the civilized world seems to have forgotten about it. I wish I could.

Based on a 60s spy-fi series of the same name coming to us from the BBC, The Avengers introduces us to John Steed, shining star amongst the good dozen or so secret agents we see in the employ of ‘The Ministry’. He is tasked with finding and questioning Dr. Emma Peel, an eminent meteorologist, on some strange goings-on in the atmosphere and the fact that she’s apparently killed someone. Mrs. Peel, since we’re not being quite so formal, is understandably curious as to how she could be in two places at once and thus joins Steed in tracking down the true mastermind behind the atmospheric shenanigans, a graduate of the Blofeld School for Evil Geniuses and recipient of the Dr. Evil Impractical Domination Plot Award, Sir August De Wynter. … No, it’s not a clever nom-de-plume.

The TV series was sadly before my time. I recall my father gushing about it from time to time, how Steed’s cool demeanor under fire lent a sort of tongue-in-cheek aspect to the action and intrigue, and Diana Rigg in a black catsuit was nothing to sneeze at. From what I understand, however, the premise of the show began somewhat grounded but eventually grew to incorporate some of the more esoteric aspects of the James Bond films while simultaneously delivering subtle parodies of eccentricities of the contemporary British lifestyle. For some reason, the writer and director of 1998’s Razzie contender seemed to be under the impression that all of this idiocy was to be played 100% straight. Maybe this confusion was caused by the apparent fact they need to share a brain.

BEEP BOOP WE ARE EMOTING – CURRENT STATE: DULL SURPRISE

‘Straight’, by the way, here has the meaning of ‘straight as a length of rebar made from indestructible space metal and about as pliable.’ The actors tasked with modernizing these icons of their age, Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman, seem to be so mechanical and uninvolved in their actions and delivery that I had to wonder if I was actually seeing the actors or some very advanced animatronic doubles who had been programmed to emote by mole people who’ve only seen human beings through fractures in the earth’s crust, most of them under Madame Tussaud’s. Even Sir Sean Connery isn’t having fun in this thing, and he gets to preside over a meeting of evil masterminds while dressed in a bear costume. And before you think that’s a bit odd, let me expand on the scene by saying they’re ALL in bear costumes. It’s like they decided part of their world domination plot included cosplaying as the mascots for the Grateful Dead.

As for the British influence, I think the only things the monobrained writer-director superstar tag team know about the Brits is that they drink tea and have accents. It seems that every single opportunity they get these people are having tea. Steed even has a fucking spigot in his Bently for the stuff. With cream already added. Red phone booths, double-decker buses, no anachronistic, staid and trite Britishism goes unreferenced because that’s funny, right? Oh, this isn’t a comedy? It’s a big-budget blockbuster? Well, the action is at least engaging. At least it would be if there was ever the vaguest hint of danger, suspense or even excitement projected by our cast. I know it’s a lot to expect for a movie like this to verge towards realism, but last I checked lightning striking a metal rod extended in a man’s hand did not lift him into the air as if the gods of Olympus decided they wanted to raise the villain up just to personally dismember him with their immortal nectar-stained hands. But by then I’d pretty much given up on the movie making any sense whatsoever.

Did you think I was kidding about this?

It only runs 90 minutes long but it feels a lot longer. It takes itself far too seriously to be campy and goes for too many idiotic laughs to approach the quiet desperation of truly British films like Trainspotting. Attempts at innuendo or chemistry fall flatter than the deck of an aircraft carrier and have about as much subtlety. The plot makes absolutely no sense and skips around without warning, the special effects are bland and uninspired and I couldn’t help but think you should be getting a lot more entertainment or at least some fucking fun out of Voldemort, the Bride and James Bond himself all being in a spy-fi movie together. It’s no wonder Marvel steamrolled this macaroon-smelling turd on its way to production. The Avengers from 1998 is best left forgotten. Find the TV series if you’re curious, and hopefully the movie of the same name coming out next year will be a better time at the movies overall, even if the inclusion of only one girl is a bit perplexing. The ’98 flick had a few more, including double Uma Thurmans. And if nothing else, at least Eddie Izzard got to wear some fabulous shoes. But when executive transvestite fashion’s the highest compliment you can pay the picture instead of just an amusing observation… you get the idea.

Josh Loomis can’t always make it to the local megaplex, and thus must turn to alternative forms of cinematic entertainment. There might not be overpriced soda pop & over-buttered popcorn, and it’s unclear if this week’s film came in the mail or was delivered via the dark & mysterious tubes of the Internet. Only one thing is certain… IT CAME FROM NETFLIX.

Book Review: Mockingjay

December 15, 2011 / BlueInkAlchemist / 0 Comments

The Hunger Games have concluded, and the winner is…

It can be difficult to limit yourself to a certain length for a narrative. If you can manage it, however, you allow yourself to do two things. Being limited in time pushes you to develop your world and characters as much as possible with as few words as possible. It also gives you the opportunity to go absolutely ape with the last installment in the story. Will the darkness of the second part of a trilogy give way to the light at the end, or does the story deliver on promises of doom and gloom? I won’t enter spoiler territory, but rest assured that Mockingjay delivers the goods.

Panem is in chaos. As the story opens, Districts are in open revolt against the decadent Capitol. The rebels are based in the underground stronghold of District 13, long thought eradicated by Capitol forces. As the story opens, however, the Districts are fractured and divided. They need something to unite them against their oppressor, a symbol of defiance and liberty – someone like Katniss Everdeen. All District 13 has to do is convince a traumatized, malnourished and battered young woman to be their Mockingjay. It’s something she has no interest in whatsoever.

One thing that has distinguished the Hunger Games trilogy is the evolution or, perhaps more accurately, breakdown of Katniss. Her motivations and drive for putting herself through hell never seem contrived or unwarranted, even if they are occasionally foolish or headstrong. She’s brave without being arrogant, brash without being annoying and vulnerable without being weak. She’s everything a protagonist in their late teens really should be. Her doubts, hopes, dreams and nightmares feel very authentic and adds a great layer of grounding to the entire narrative.

Mockingjay also gives us more information on the future nation of Panem. It’s made pretty clear on what basis the nation was founded. Panem is derived from the Latin term ‘panem et circenses’ – bread & circuses. With the bulk of the population working in misery, if not oppression, for the benefit of a tiny percentage of upper-class citizens who remain ignorant of the plight of the majority due to their decadence and the machinations of the leadership… well, I’m sure no parallels can be drawn to our current day and age whatsoever.

You may notice I’ve mentioned very little about the plot. I honestly don’t want to spoil anything for you. But trust me when I say that this is a far more shining example of poignant, powerful and timely young adult fiction than many of the entries currently available and popular. The entire trilogy has a very immediate feel to it, a compelling atmosphere that will have you eschewing other things and distractions because it means putting these books down.

The Hunger Games, Catching Fire and Mockingjay are all highly recommended. It is my hope that, with this source material, the major motion picture captures the truth of the characters and setting and shows young women a true role model for their age. I plan on being there to find out.

Two Cents on SOPA

December 14, 2011 / BlueInkAlchemist / 0 Comments

A lot has already been said about the Stop Online Protection Act, shortened to SOPA because acronyms are easier to remember when you have the attention span of a weevil. Jim Sterling, acerbic and opinionated as he is, pointed out some very real fears about the legislation. Bob Chipman chimed in as well, and as Congress continues to deliberate on this poorly-worded bill, tech-savvy bloggers like myself are being called upon to make their voices heard.

I know I said on my various social media outlets I’d ratchet back the politics, but this is crucially important not just from a political standpoint, but also for the very livelihoods of some of my favorite entertainment and people I consider colleagues if not friends. So here’s where I stand on it.

This bill should not pass.

If it did, and I decided to stream some League of Legends for a charity event, Riot Games could have me arrested for it. I would go to jail for a felony. I’d be sharing cell space with a rapist or murderer because I wanted to help sick kids by playing a video game.

Now, this is a bit of an extreme example, but none of the others are all that much better. Entire websites can get shut down. People’s careers can come to an abrupt end. Services like Twitch.tv would no longer be viable. The Internet as we know it would change forever.

I hope you see why this is a bad idea. And yes, I know I’m saying things that have already been said before, by more talented and/or popular Internet pundits. But the more of us that say these things, the better our chances of killing this bill before it grows to a level that tramples all over.

To learn more about this bill and how you can help stop it dead in its tracks, please visit this site.

Others who’ve spoken out on this:
Hannah Harto of My Drunk Kitchen
Jim Sterling of Dtoid & Jimquisition
Bob “MovieBob/GameOverthinker” Chipman
Anonymous

Of Nations, Elephants, Skies and Keys

December 13, 2011 / BlueInkAlchemist / 1 Comment

Proof positive that good music still comes from basements.

In both bearing down on the end of the year at the dayjob and trying to get myself in motion as a writer, music plays a key role. It evokes imagery, makes me think, gets my blood pumping… sometimes, all three. I’ve tried to branch out into new artists and ways of hearing music (that’d be Spotify) but some artists have yet to lose their touch and keep bringing me back.

I just saw VNV Nation in concert this past weekend, and those guys haven’t lost a step. When I first heard the new album, Automatic, I wasn’t sure what to think. It felt a lot like a return to the days of FuturePerfect rather than maintaining the martial feeling of Judgement and Of Faith, Power and Glory. It just didn’t feel as strong. The more I listen to it, however, the more it grows on me. From the statements of individuality in “Space & Time” and “Resolution” to the Praise the Fallen stompy drive of “Control” to the heartfelt inspiration of “Nova”, the album runs a gamut of modern emotions and motivations rather than focusing on a particular time or sentiment. In other words, it’s far more “steampunk symphony” than it is a call to arms. It may not be as strong as their other recent work, but it’s no less meaningful or touching.

“Day[9] made me do it” is a common excuse for StarCraft 2 players dicking around to give him Funday Monday content, and it’s also the reason I’ve been listening to Blue Sky Black Death. The album Noir is full of evocative electronica that reminds me of VNV’s instrumental work mixed with the moodiness of New Order or even Depeche Mode. It has a texture to it that’s hard to describe. It’s fantastic writing music, as there are no lyrics to distract you from what’s going on in your head. They’re unlikely to be as known as the other artists I mention, but you should definitely give them a listen.

Jonathan Coulton has gotten himself a studio album, how about that? No longer just recording songs in his garage or on his iPad or whatever, Artificial Heart has the crisp sound of professional production. He’s never really sounded bad, per se, but there’s a cohesion to this album that speaks to an artist going into a production with a specific plan in mind. Instead of playing it safe with nerd-friendly songs about evil geniuses and furniture stores, though, JoCo plays on themes of loneliness and abandonment. It’s a very mature sound, reminding me of the early albums of Billy Joel. Now more than ever, Jonathan sounds like someone I might know and would want to share a beer with as we get our troubles out in the open.

In an age where auto-tuning and overwrought post production can make anybody with even minute talent a pop superstar, I find myself yearning for more earnest, bare-bones rock music. Enter Cage the Elephant. I can’t recall if I first heard “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked” on the radio or in the opening of Borderlands but it definitely made me sit up and take notice. It’s been a while since a new voice has risen to evoke the rebellious days of the Ramones and the Clash, or perhaps Green Day and the Offspring. Their debut album’s very straightforward and catchy, while Thank You Happy Birthday boasts more range and nuance. I’ll be watching (and listening to) these guys.

I also need to get caught up listening to The Black Keys. Two guys from Akron have been cranking out impressive music that’s equal parts hard-nosed rock and heartfelt blues. I picked up their latest album, El Camino, practically on the crunchy catchy merits of “Lonely Boy” alone and found every song to be just as well made, if not better. Brothers is also quite good with cuts like “Tighten Up” and “Howlin’ For You”. There’s quite a few more to listen to, and I’m sure I’ll be doing so in the very near future. They have a sound that harkens back to days of simpler music and are about as far removed from the pop scene as you can get.

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! Scarface

December 12, 2011 / BlueInkAlchemist / 0 Comments

[audio:http://www.blueinkalchemy.com/uploads/scarface.mp3]

Tragedies are touchpoints in the course of human history. They’re also cautionary tales, whispering warnings of downfalls to come. From Aeschylus to Shakespeare, it’s a tradition with thousands of years worth of wisdom to teach us through the abrupt ends of others’ lives, especially those who choose to pursue their goals through illegitimate means. It’s just as true today as it was in 1983 when Brian De Palma’s Scarface first premiered in theaters. I don’t know if this visionary director and his young cast who became household names knew that this gaudy, baroque and melodramatic opus would still have something to say to a 21st-century audience, but it does, and like the main character, it isn’t shy about it.

Originally a tale of Prohibition-era organized crime, Scarface updated its setting to southern Florida, when hundreds of thousands of refugees fled Communist-controlled Cuba for the United States hoping for a better future. For the criminals free of Cuba’s prisons among those refugees, that better future meant the fast money and high risk that came from a life of crime. And for Tony Montana, one of those criminals, the money was in cocaine. With his partner Manny, Tony almost immediately begins carving out a place for himself. He comes into the country with nothing, yet he soon is the premiere trigger-man for the biggest drug dealer in Miami. And he doesn’t stop there.

Scarface is a tale of excess from the very beginning in both plot and production. The patterns and colors of the early 80s are garish reminders that throwbacks like Grand Theft Auto: Vice City are not exaggerating. The score, heavy in ominous synth, is as cheesy as the zebra-print seat covers in Tony’s Cadillac and yet every bit as fitting. The multiple mirrors in the nightclubs our protagonist spends his leisure time in made shooting difficult but underscore the vanity of the time and the character. Of course all of the production value in the world is for naught without a central presence to drive the narrative, and Tony Montana is definitely behind the wheel in that regard.

“I jus’ wan’ what’s comin’ t’ me: th’ world… an’ everythin’ in it.”

In future films such as Heat or Carlito’s Way (not so much Devil’s Advocate), Pacino will ratchet back the over-the-top scenery-chewing bombast to save it for key moments. But in Scarface, he seems to be firing on all cylinders at all times. Be he clawing his way up to the top or sliding down into oblivion, Tony lives with his dials turned to 11 and beyond. Not only does his behavior lead to him ensuring he alone remains the center of his universe, he’s proud of this way of life and his achievements to a tragic fault. There’s very little about this protagonist that’s redeemable or even all that likable, yet his tragic humanity keeps us watching every move he makes.

The rest of the cast certainly isn’t slouching, either. It was a breakout role for Michelle Pfieffer and the first on-screen appearance ever for Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio. De Palma directs them all with the graceful nuance of an orchestra conductor as well as the uncompromising drive of a workshop foreman. As bold as a decision it was to shoot this picture at all, he went one step further in making it almost three hours long and including some incredibly brutal scenes of bodily harm from shootouts to stabbings. It’s an endurance trial made survivable and even enjoyable thanks to Tony Montana.

Good times had by all. Mostly.

The presence of Montana is a pervasive one, even to this day. Scarface would inspire a plethora of crime dramas around the world, and its themes of freedom, excess and the rags-to-riches rise to power is clearly an inspiration for not only a good deal of gangster rappers but video games like the aforementioned Grand Theft Auto and, later, Saint’s Row. What the games leave out, of course, is the way the story ends. Once he achieves all he’s been after, Tony spirals into a miasma of vanity and contempt, even for himself. He’s an utterly repulsive human being, even acknowledging his villainous status at one point in a memorable black-tie dinner scene, yet he seems confused when people curse him and leave him on his own. And there’s plenty of cursing to be sure; screenwriter Oliver Stone used the word “fuck” and its many derivations 218 times in the screenplay.

Scarface is highly recommended. Be prepared to spend an afternoon with Tony, watching him banter with immigration, deal with Bolivian drug lords using surprising charisma and build his own cocaine empire from scratch yet at the same time finding true happiness eluding him at every turn. In the end he stares at a mountainous pile of drugs on his luxurious desk in his palatial Miami estate, and his hollow eyes echo the question he put to Manny at dinner: “Is this it?” It’s a moment of introspection and humbling, almost pathetic pathos which, after a lifetime of deception, theft, seduction and murder, has come too little too late. I’m sure that, almost 30 years later, we can find a message for our time between the bullet-riddled corpses and the bright, happy neon lights – even if that message is merely one of the rules that Tony neglected to follow: “Never get high on your own supply.”

Month: December 2011 (page 3 of 5)

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! The Avengers

Book Review: Mockingjay

Two Cents on SOPA

Of Nations, Elephants, Skies and Keys

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! Scarface

Buy This Book!

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