I absolutely hate letting writing go undone for days on end. The problem is, when you have mental conditions that thrive in an environment of self-recrimination, a vicious cycle begins in which you admonish yourself for not doing the thing, you feel hatred towards yourself as a result of admonishment, you take time to recover from the admonishment instead of doing the thing, you realize the thing has not been done, and you’re back to where you started.
While I have been getting some work done on the novel, thanks to the use of the Writer’s Room, the blog has slipped. Between hunting down a job (which starts today!), and preparing for PAX and a move, and wrestling with all sorts of internal problems with relationships, demons, anxieties, and frustrations, making time to post about writing or gaming or anything has been difficult. I need to make it a point to do so, though, just as much as I need to make it a point to practice my guitar.
Oh, yeah. I was given a guitar. I’m stumbling my way through some basic chords and trying to fret properly. It’s an interesting and occasionally frustrating experience. But I think I’ll get through it.
I’m glad you’re reading these words. It really does mean a lot to me. I know I’m not a flawless being, and I make mistakes, and I even occasionally present problems or, worst of all, hurt people. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to. It’s never my intent. I know it doesn’t take away the pain or counter the cost, but rather than pretending I’ve done nothing wrong, I’d much rather do whatever I can to make things right.
Even if it’s just getting back on a routine blog schedule.